There is a great line in a Papa Roach song that says, ” scars remind us that the past is real.” It is true. Every memory we have takes us to another place and time. Sometimes good, and we don’t mind those times. We reminisce and it makes us smile. It feels good. The bad ones though are different. You can feel them more deeply than the good ones. They still hurt, nearly as much as the actual event. The memory is more vivid and just as disturbing and upsetting as when it happened. They say time heals all wounds. Maybe this true for a lucky few. There is bound to be someone who reads this that knows what I am talking about. A song comes on the radio and before you can even think about it, your mind races, your heart sinks, and for no reason at all, there you are again reliving one of the many scars in your life. The wound ripped open for all to see. You could most certainly bleed to death from such a wound. You don’t though…or won’t. Maybe someone rescues you from the downward spiral of thought and terror that has momentarily become your being. Possible you have been in this situation before and know how to diffuse the bomb that just started ticking like an old Timex. You thought it was dead, that you got over it, yet suddenly it lives again. There are of course those unlucky souls that for some reason can’t recover or recover quickly enough to save their own sanity and in some cases their lives. People say suicide is the ultimate form of selfishness. I can assure you though that you have never and will never be dealing with the exact same issue as anyone else in your life. I don’t care if things look the same to you from the outside, you are not them and they are not you. The very thing that makes each of us unique is sometimes the very thing that keeps us from connecting with another person or being able to have any empathy at all. One person deals with an issue in a certain way and sees someone dealing with what appears to be the same issue in a different way as ignorant. Every person can look at the same cloud and see something different. One may see an animal, another a plant, and yet another only sees an impending storm. Such is the scope of ones emotions and coping mechanisms. I do not condone suicide, but I will not condemn the person either. Will our scars ever heal.. Will there ever be a point in life where we don’t have to deal with old wounds anymore? In a way, I hope so. In another way, I hope the reminder is always there to remind us just how bad things can get. “Scars remind us that the past is real.” Seems a lot like touching an oven as a kid…you don’t do it again; but what if you didn’t remember that it hurt. You would most certainly do it again. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to learn a lesson without the pain. Maybe it just isn’t possible.
Copyright 2009
Brandon W. Crews
