What Has to be Done

I think everyone reaches a point in their life when they realize that what needs to be done is absolutely not what they really want to do. It comes in all parts of our lives. It happens with jobs, friends, school, your social life, and especially your love life. There is this wall that you run into that signals to you…you are going in the wrong direction. Those that believe in God are led by his words and have some sort of guide that gives them a goal or destiny. I don’t know where I stand on that anymore. I have done a lot of praying, and gotten a lot of unanswered prayers. You might say that I was praying for “selfish” things. You would be surprised what my prayers entail. I have come to the conclusion that maybe I am what is keeping those prayers from being answered. I am the downfall. I am no longer helping, but hindering. I am no longer supporting, but an anchor constantly pulling downward. I am no longer showing or giving the love that I once gave, but sucking it out of someone else…draining it to the point that only loves opposite is left. Am I right in this thought process? I don’t know. The only way for me to know, is to leave and see what happens. As the song says…”the last hardest thing, now that we’ve both parted ways, is to ask for forgiveness and not to look back at me…” (The Last Hardest Thing, Neverset) This is the hardest thing I will ever do. Though if I don’t do this, the consequences are much greater. It is said that the definition of insane is to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. Well, this is different and I hope the result is good. I truly mean this. It may not be what I think is best for me, or should I say what I want, but I hope it is best for all involved. I have done my fair share of damage to people, contrary to what people may think. Most people think I’m a victim. I am not a victim, but an active part in everything that has transpired.  Hell, let’s just say we are all victims. There, I said it. The dreaded V-word. What can I say…when kids think they know what they want and end up raising each other rather than growing in a relationship, this is what happens. I would rather leave with what is left than lose what is left then leave. Heroic? No. Realizing what was going on years ago and doing something then might have been heroic; sparing all parties from the pain and misery that seems so common now. Now, it’s survival. Do or die. Love, yeah it’s still there…and stronger than the day we met. However, these two hearts want different things. Is it possible to feel that way and still be friends? I guarantee it is, but the horses are saddled and we’re either ready to ride or we’re not. I think we are!!

©2007

Brandon W. Crews

When God Made Paramedics

When God made paramedics, He was into His sixth day of overtime.An angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”

God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?

A Paramedic has to be able to carry an injured person up a wet, grassy hill in the dark, dodge stray bullets to reach a dying child unarmed, enter homes the health inspector wouldn’t touch,and not wrinkle his uniform.”

“He has to be able to lift three times his own weight.
Crawl into wrecked cars with barely enough room to move, and console a grieving mother as he is doing CPR on a baby he knows will never breathe again.”

“He has to be in top mental condition at all times,
running on no sleep, black coffee and half-eaten meals,
and he has to have six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands…no way.” “It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God replied.

“It’s the three pairs of eyes a medic has to have.” “That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel.
God nodded. “One pair that sees open sores as he’s drawing blood, always wondering if the patient is HIV positive.”
“Another pair here in the side of his head for his partner’s safety. And another pair of eyes here in front that can look reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say,
“You’ll be alright ma’am when he knows it isn’t so.”

“Lord,” said the angel, touching His sleeve, “rest and work on this tomorrow.” “I can’t,” God replied.
“I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound drunk out from behind a steering wheel without incident and feed a family of five on a private service paycheck.”

The angel circled the model of the Paramedic very slowly.
“Can it think?” she asked.
“You bet”, God said.
“It can tell you the symptoms of 100 illnesses; recite drug calculations in it’s sleep; intubate, defibrillate, medicate, and continue CPR nonstop over terrain that any doctor would fear…and it still keeps it’s sense of humor.”
“This medic also has phenomenal personal control.
He can deal with a multi-victim trauma, coax a frightened elderly person to unlock their door,
comfort a murder victim’s family, and then read in the daily paper how Paramedics were unable to locate a house quickly enough, allowing the person to die.
A house that had no street sign, no house numbers, no phone to call back.”

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Paramedic.
“There’s a leak,” she pronounced.
“I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”

“That’s not a leak,” God replied, “It’s a tear.”

“What’s the tear for?” asked the angel.

“It’s for bottled up emotions, for patients they’ve tried in vain to save, for commitment to that hope that they will make a difference in a person’s chance to survive, for
life.”

“You’re a genius!” said the angel.

God looked somber.
“I DIDN’T PUT THE TEAR THERE” He said.

Author Unknown

 

Who Packs Your Parachute

Parachute

Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience! One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, “You’re Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!”

“How in the world did you know that?” asked Plumb.

“I packed your parachute,” the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, “I guess it worked!” Plumb assured him, “It sure did. If your chute hadn’t worked, I wouldn’t be here today.”

Plumb couldn’t sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, I kept wondering what he had looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat; a bib in the back; and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said ‘Good morning, how are you?’ or anything, because, you see, I was a fighter pilot, and he was just a sailor. Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent at a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn’t know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, “Who’s packing your parachute?” Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. He also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory — he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachutes.

 

Author unknown at this time.

The Ill Fated Heart

I have put a lot of thought into this blog. It touches on a subject that really no one wants to delve to deeply into. It is either too shameful, they have been a part of it, they don’t want to stand up for what they believe in, they don’t care for politics, or they simply don’t believe in anything strong enough to have an opinion. So let’s see where we stand.
Do you support our United States soldiers? If not, why not? They are hired by the government of this country to protect us and the interests of this country. You heard the word HIRED right? They do their job. Most all of them because they WANT to. They are willing to lose their lives protecting this country and what we as a nation stand for. Think of it this way. At any given moment, anyone can be kidnapped, shot, killed, or raped because someone has a power trip they can’t get over and takes it out on someone else. Men and women alike shout as loud as possible to the law enforcement of this country because they want that person caught and punished. But when we went into Iraq and liberated an untold number of people from the law enforcers of that country who were doing the kidnapping, killing, and raping, all we could say is “it’s none of our business”. And who takes the abuse from the American people, the soldiers. More to come at a later date.

Copyright 2006

Brandon W. Crews

The Journey

You know, they say it’s not where you are, it’s where your going that counts. I say… the destination isn’t near as important as the journey. They say money can’t buy you happiness. I say… if happiness depended on money we would all be in a sad state of affairs. They say God works in mysterious ways. I say… the only important part of that sentence is that God works. They say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I say… you can see that from this side. They say you shouldn’t gamble. I say… no one ever got anywhere worth being without taking a chance. They say never eat yellow snow. I say… they should have tried the lemon ice. They say you don’t know what you got til it’s gone. I say… you always know what you have, sometimes we’re just too stupid know it’s a great thing. They say let them go and if they come back it is meant to be. I say… all great things are worth hanging onto with both hands ( I should know). They say can’t never could. I say… who the hell came up with that lame piece of crap saying?

I could go on and on with these and I’m sure anyone who reads this can come up with their own. The point of this is…I don’t care what They say, and if I did, I wouldn’t be where I am. I have seen all but 3 states in the continental U.S. I have been to Mexico and Canada. I have worked in some of the most beautiful places in this country and seen more of it than that. I write this because I would not be where I am without taking chances and thinking for myself. As I said, I don’t care what They say. There is a great song out by a band most of you know…especially you 80’s kids. It says, “It’s my life, it’s now or never. I ain’t gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I’m alive.” Life is short, make the most of it. If you ain’t makin’ memories, you ain’t livin’.

Copyright 2006

Brandon W. Crews

The Dark Side

This blog is meant for all of you who know me, and I guess, maybe for those of you who don’t. Regardless, you are reading this, so you are interested. I am in my final semesters on my way to an Associates Degree in Emergency Medicine. In the last 2 years, I have dealt with a lot of things, some of my own accord, others I fell right in the middle of. There is a dark side of this world. Some only know of this world by watching TV, some the news, and others movies. Some know of it personally. Those that know it personally know how consuming the dark side really is. You don’t mean to get involved in it. You don’t intend to get consumed. Yet, it happens. Some get involved by trying it once. Others get involved by entering through a “gateway”. Either way, you can be assured that the way out isn’t as easy as the way in. My views of people have changed. Is it their fault that they walked through an open door? Yes. Is it their fault that they got peer pressured into going through that door? Yes. Is it their fault they can’t get out? Sometimes. Some don’t want to get out. Those that do want to leave, sometimes need help that, for some reason, is not readily available. Sometimes they just need to know that their friends and family still loves them and cares what happens to them. My eyes have been opened to the world. Yeah, there are those people who are on the dark side and there to stay. They don’t care who is around or what is going on, it’s their way or the highway. Maybe their pain isn’t able to be healed. I don’t know. What I do know is that when I see those people, they will have all the compassion that one man has to offer and all the understanding I am capable of sharing with someone. I know the dark side. I know it pretty well. Anyone that even has the slightest desire to come back to the bright side, well, the door is always open.

Copyright 2006

Brandon W. Crews

The Deep

There is only so much that you can see of someone from the outside. At least that is what most people believe. There are certain people that believe that the eyes are the window to the soul. What we see of people is only as deep as what we are willing to look. Some people just find it too scary to look that deep into who someone is. I write these things for a few reasons. One of those reasons is the hope that there are others out there like me that see beneath the surface of everyday things. Another reason is that I like to share what I think with others who may not think the same way I do. Sometimes I have to ask what it is about me that makes people like me. I’m not one of the “cool” people. I don’t hang out with the cool people. I don’t fall to peer pressure. What is it that attracts people to want a friendship with me? After a decent amount of thought, I have come to the conclusion that I am for real. I tell you what I think. I give everybody one chance to show me who they are. I have already looked as deep as possible into the eyes of that person and formed an opinion of exactly how far I would trust an individual. I have a sense about people. But to go with that, I have an open mind. As I have said before, I am going to be a paramedic. I will not judge people based on their situation when I see them. Just as I don’t judge anyone I meet on a daily basis. If you are my friend, it is because I have chosen to receive you into my “world”. We may not be best friends, but apparently there is something about you that makes you worth being friends with. When you think about it, that is pretty sweet. Of the 300,000 people in Amarillo, I have chosen you. It goes unsaid that you have chosen me as well. That is the beauty of “the deep”. It is there if you really want to look. Taking the time to look can save you a lot of misery.

 

Copyright 2007

Brandon W. Crews

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© 2007 All Rights Reserved.

Energy

At what point to you accept that something is a lost cause? A given standard that, when reached, tells you to relax and let things go. Is there really such a thing, or do people just push until they are too tired to stand, falling flat on their face. Only then realizing that they no longer feel the way they used to, and then spend the time you used to use fighting for something trying to figure out what in the world was so important in the first place. What possessed you to spend all your energy fighting for a cause that, for all intents and purposes, you had no right or cause to fight for.  You can’t change what another feels. You can’t make someone happy and cheerful all the time. There are times when no matter what you do, others are going to be hurt, sad, or cry. It is completely out of your control. But there is a sparkle of a thought in the back of my brain. It gets clearer and clearer as I write. Maybe they do all those things because when they do get the opportunity to see that person happy, it makes up for all the work they put in during the times when they couldn’t make a difference at all. Still, there is that nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me there is another side to this whole deal. That is the side that tears you apart when you realize that you put all that energy into something that may have been better left alone. The act of trying to make a difference in someones day or even life ends up being part of a self inflicted punishment. What you are hoping for fades away never to be seen again, and it is replaced by a need to feel like you are worth the body your soul inhabits, that you are still liked and mean something to someone. That never ceasing need to feel like you still have something to offer up to others, and the desperate hope that what you have to offer is wanted….no….needed.

 

Copyright 2007

Brandon W. Crews

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© 2007 All Rights Reserved.